Taming the Dragon Among Us

As a therapist, I’ve seen how much damage words can do. Sometimes the wounds my clients carry aren’t from physical pain or traumatic events, but from sentences — spoken years ago and never forgotten. A single comment from a parent, a cutting remark from a friend, a careless word from a pastor or spouse — these fragments of speech can live inside us for decades, shaping how we see ourselves and others.

Words leave fingerprints on the soul. They can either help us heal or hold us hostage.

That’s why Scripture speaks so much about the tongue. Proverbs 18:21 says,

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

Every day, we decide whether our words will bring life or destruction. And too often, without realizing it, we feed the dragon that lives among us.

The Modern Dragon

This dragon doesn’t roar from mountaintops or breathe fire in the streets. It’s quieter, slicker — it slithers through text messages, whispered conversations, and social media comments. It hides behind prayer requests, sarcastic jokes, or “honest opinions.”

The dragon shows up when we share information that isn’t ours to share, when we speak before thinking, when we use our words to control the narrative instead of seeking truth.

Gossip and slander don’t always sound malicious — sometimes they sound like concern. But underneath, they’re powered by comparison, pride, and fear.

The Bible doesn’t describe gossip as a personality flaw; it calls it a spiritual danger. James 3:6 warns,

“The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body… it sets the whole course of one’s life on fire.”

When we gossip, we don’t just burn others — we scorch ourselves. We lose credibility, peace, and the ability to see others clearly. And once those words escape our lips (or thumbs), they take on a life of their own.

Why We Feed the Dragon

As a counselor, I’ve learned that gossip often comes from unmet needs. We gossip to feel connected, to belong, or to feel in control when life feels uncertain. We use it to fill silence, deflect our own discomfort, or affirm that we’re on the “right side” of something.

In therapy, this is what we’d call a temporary coping strategy — it provides quick relief but long-term harm. It gives us a sense of significance in the moment, but it erodes trust, integrity, and intimacy over time.

When we gossip, we trade the truth for the illusion of closeness. And the cost is always higher than we think.

What Mary Magdalene Can Teach Us

If anyone understood the pain of gossip, it was Mary Magdalene. She’s one of the most misunderstood figures in the Bible — labeled, speculated about, and misrepresented for centuries. Some have called her immoral, others confused her with different women entirely, and a few have even tried to rewrite her story to fit their agenda.

But Scripture tells us something far simpler and far more beautiful: Mary was a woman set free. Luke 8:2 tells us she had been delivered from seven demons. And when she encountered Jesus, her life changed completely.

While others abandoned Him at the cross, Mary stayed. While the disciples hid, she went to the tomb. And while the world whispered about her, she became the first witness of the resurrection.

Imagine that — the first person to see the risen Christ was a woman whose name had been dragged through the mud. The one the world gossiped about became the one God trusted with the greatest truth in history.

Mary Magdalene became, in a sense, a dragon slayer. She overcame the whispers by living faithfully, speaking truthfully, and choosing grace over gossip. Her story reminds us that no rumor can define what God has redeemed.

How We Tame the Dragon

We may never stop others from gossiping, but we can stop it from taking root in us. Taming the dragon begins with awareness — noticing the urge to share or criticize and asking why. It’s less about guarding our mouths and more about guarding our hearts.

Here are a few ways we can practice that awareness and integrity:

1. Think before you speak.

In a world where every opinion can be shared instantly, pausing to think has become an act of wisdom. Before you speak — or post — run your words through the T.H.I.N.K. test:

• T – Is it true?

• H – Is it helpful?

• I – Is it inspiring?

• N – Is it necessary?

• K – Is it kind?

If your words can’t pass that test, it’s usually better to stay quiet. Thoughtful silence builds more peace than careless speech ever could.

2. Turn gossip into grace.

When someone begins to gossip, redirect the conversation toward empathy: “I can’t imagine what they’re going through” or “Let’s pray for them instead.” Grace is the dragon’s natural enemy. It disarms judgment and replaces it with compassion.

3. Heal what’s underneath.

If gossip gives us a sense of belonging or control, then healing begins by addressing what’s missing. Where do we feel unseen, unheard, or powerless? In counseling, we’d call this getting to the function beneath the behavior — learning what the gossip was trying to accomplish and meeting that need in a healthier way.

4. Let your words bring life.

Ephesians 4:29 says,

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up.”Every word we speak is a seed. Plant encouragement. Plant honesty. Plant peace.

The Power to Speak Life

There’s one more truth Mary Magdalene teaches us: healing doesn’t come from silence alone — it comes from speaking the right words. She didn’t stay quiet about what she had seen. She went and told the disciples, “I have seen the Lord.” (John 20:18)

Gossip spreads lies that divide. Truth spreads hope that unites. When we choose to speak words of life, we reclaim the power that gossip tried to steal.

Maybe you’ve been wounded by words. Maybe you’ve been the one who spread them. Either way, grace has the final word. Through Christ, we can stop feeding the dragon and start breathing life again — into our families, friendships, churches, and communities.

A Reflection for the Week

Ask yourself this week:

• Where have my words been life-giving?

• Where have they wounded others — or myself?

• What would it look like to speak like Mary Magdalene — with truth, courage, and compassion?

  
  

We can’t control every conversation, but we can control our contribution. The dragon loses its power when we speak with humility, honesty, and heart. That’s how we tame it — one redemptive word at a time.

A Gentle Invitation

If this blog spoke to you, I’d love to hear from you. You can say hello at hello@shaunhardie.com, or visit www.shaunhardie.com to learn more about counseling through Vineyard Counseling or coaching through ACT on Mental Health.