If you sit with couples long enough, you start to notice a pattern. Most partners who walk into my office don’t begin by saying, We don’t love each other anymore.” They say something much more familiar: “We just can’t communicate without a fight.” “I never feel heard in the relationship.” “We talk, but nothing changes.” Usually, beneath those words is a shared ache — two people who care deeply about each other but keep missing one another emotionally. They’re talking, but the

“But He knows the way that I take; when He has tested me, I shall come forth as gold.” — Job 23:10 I’ve lived with anxiety most of my life, and didn't even know! For years, I did what most people do — I tried to ignore it, numb it, or control it. I told myself to calm down. I tried to think positive thoughts. I pushed away the feelings. And the harder I tried not to feel anxious, the more anxious I became. My heart would race faster. My breathing would tighten. My mind would

When couples sit down in my office, the most common things I hear sound like this: “We can’t talk without fighting.” "We talk and nothing changes.” “We don’t know how to talk without hurting each other.” At the heart is one core struggle: ineffective communication — not because the couple doesn’t care or know how but because of learned patterns that are destroying their relationship. Behind most perpetual arguments is one (or more) of what Dr. John Gottman calls “The Four Ho